西安景区“小雁塔”介绍的英文翻译错误百出

1983年本人曾与所在的英语3班的同学们一起赴西安参加所在学校的毕业生实习工作，时光荏苒，43年过去了！今年春节期间故地重游，感慨良多啊！西安的变化真实太大了，这些年西安的建设，特别是对历史古迹的修复及仿建的工作真是太到位了。这也充分说明了陕西省、西安市的政府工作的细致入微，人性化的管理！
现在回忆起当年的西安还显得非常的落后。当时我们以西安国旅分社的英文导游local guide（地陪）的身份给外宾介绍西安的兵马俑，大雁塔，华清池，钟楼，鼓楼以及清真寺等。记得当时西安国旅分社发给我们每人一份英文导游词，长达100页以上。要求我们熟练背诵，然后是跟随西安国旅分社的英文导游随车观摩学习，最后是自己独立带外宾。那时根据我的记忆，西安的很多旅游景点还没有中英文对照的简介。而如今每个景点的介绍都有中英对照版。然而，随着英文版译文的出现，错译问题也在所难免啊！我此次来西安旅游参观了西安博物院，陕西省博物馆，小雁塔，大雁塔，清真寺等我原来曾经带外宾游览过的景点，并且特意选择下榻在西安宾馆，因为我当时做导游时经常出入的就是西安宾馆。顺便说一下，这个宾馆是1982年建的，2007年全面翻新，2021年提升改造的。不过说句真心话，这个宾馆现在标为四星宾馆，确实不到位啊！无论从房间的面积，到房间里的布局装修和设施等都达不到四星级酒店的要求！言归正传，西安市的这些景点的中英文对照的介绍问题多多啊！


原文：
小雁塔
唐代。始建于707年，初名荐福寺塔，明清时期称小雁塔。小雁塔为十五级密檐砖塔，因多次地震、塌陷毁坏，塔身出现裂缝，1965年国家按照原材料和施工工艺对塔身进行了整修，现高43.38米，由砖基、塔身和塔顶三部分组成。塔基为方形平面，塔身为六边形，高3.2米，底边长23.38米，下有地宫。塔身呈中空，内壁有砖砌的宝塔道，外轮廓呈现出自然圆形的卷云曲线，每层叠涩出檐，二层以上南北均开有券窗。小雁塔整体保存完好，是中国古代建筑形式砖塔的杰出代表。1961年，被国务院公布为全国第一批重点文物保护单位。

译文：The Small Wild Goose Pagoda
An architecture built in the Tang Dynasty, the Small Wild Goose Pagoda was originally built in AD 707, and was previously called "Jianfu Pagoda". Since the Ming and Qing dynasties, it has been widely known as the Small Wild Goose Pagoda. The pagoda is currently a fifteen-storey multi-level brick pagoda. Due to many earthquakes, the top part of the original pagoda has been completely damaged, and the body of the pagoda has developed cracks. In the year 1965, the Chinese government renovated the pagoda by using materials and techniques all of which are exactly the same as those used for building the pagoda. Presently, it stands at a height of 43.38 meters, and is composed of a pedestal, a body, and a top. The pedestal is square, has a brick shell with a clay core, has a height of 32 meters and a perimeter of 23.38 meters, and is above an underground palace. The body of the pagoda has a brick frame built around a hollow interior. Brick stairs could be followed up the internal wall of the body. The pagoda's outer contours are a naturally elegant convex curve that is very similar to the entasis curve in Greek architecture. Each storey has gradually-tiered dense eaves. There are arched windows in the south and north walls of the second and higher stories. The overall architecture has been well preserved, and thereby is a perfect example of multi-eaved square brick pagodas built in ancient China.

评析：
根据中文原文，英文翻译存在很多不符合英文表达习惯和错译之处，主要体现在术语错误、数据混淆、结构不自然等方面。以下逐条分析并给出修改建议。
1. 首句：初名“荐福寺塔”误译为“Jianfu Pagoda”

原文：唐代。始建于707年，初名荐福寺塔
译文：... was previously called "Jianfu Pagoda".
问题：“荐福寺”的名字应为“Jianfu Temple ”。
修改：... and was originally known as the Jianfu Temple.

2. 首句：“An architecture”用法不当

原文：唐代。始建于707年
译文：An architecture built in the Tang Dynasty, The Small Wild Goose Pagoda was originally built...
问题：“architecture”作为不可数名词，通常不说“an architecture”。可改为“A pagoda”或调整句式。此外，前半句使用了省略句式，后面的主句中的定冠词应该用小写！
修改：Built in the Tang Dynasty, the Small Wild Goose Pagoda was originally constructed in AD 707...

3. 地震损坏描述过于绝对

原文：，因多次地震、塌陷毁坏，塔身出现裂缝
译文：Due to many earthquakes, the top part of the original pagoda has been completely damaged...
问题：“completely damaged”程度过重，中文仅为“塌陷毁坏”，且历史事实是顶部受损但未完全消失。建议弱化。此外，英文中的副词completely表示“完全地”或“全部地”，而英文中的动词damage只表达“部分损坏”，而非“不可修复”，因此，副词completely修饰动词damage本身就存在着自相矛盾，不合逻辑的问题！
修改：Due to repeated earthquakes, the top of the pagoda was damaged and the body of the pagoda developed cracks.

4. 修复描述啰嗦

原文：按照原材料和施工工艺对塔身进行了整修
译文：... by using materials and techniques all of which are exactly the same as those used for building the pagoda.
问题：表达累赘，可用更简洁的方式。
修改：... using the same materials and techniques as those originally used.

5. 塔基数据严重错误

原文：塔基为方形平面，塔身为六边形，高3.2米，底边长23.38米
译文：The pedestal is square, has a brick shell with a clay core, has a height of 32 meters and a perimeter of 23.38 meters...
问题：
高度：中文为塔身高3.2米，此处误为32米。
周长：中文“底边长23.38米”指塔身的底边（六边形），而塔基为方形且未给出尺寸。英文将边长误作周长，且混淆了塔基与塔身。
修改：需重新组织，分别描述塔基和塔身：
· The pedestal is square (specific dimensions not given) and sits above an underground palace.
· The pagoda body is hexagonal, measuring 3.2 meters in height with a side length of 23.38 meters.

6. “brick shell with a clay core”无中文依据

· 原文：... has a brick shell with a clay core...
· 问题：中文未提及塔基内部结构，此描述为英文添加，但无大碍，可保留或删除。若保留需确认事实准确性。此外，整个语句的构成是由...is..., has... and has...：The pedestal is square, has a brick shell with a clay core, has a height of 32 meters and a perimeter of 23.38 meters...
语句的表达显得极为简陋幼稚，与汉语的流水散句非常类似，中式英语的味道很浓！

7. 楼梯表达不自然

原文：内壁有砖砌的宝塔道
译文：Brick stairs could be followed up the internal wall of the body.
问题：“could be followed up”生硬，且未说明楼梯存在。
修改：Brick stairs are built into the inner wall, allowing access to the upper levels.

8. 外轮廓曲线表述可更流畅

原文：外轮廓呈现出自然圆形的卷云曲线，每层叠涩出檐，二层以上南北均开有券窗。
The pagoda's outer contours are a naturally elegant convex curve that is very similar to the entasis curve in Greek architecture.
问题：基本正确，但“entasis”是专业术语，若面向普通读者可简化。此处可保留。
修改：无需改动，或改为“The outer contours form a naturally elegant convex curve, reminiscent of the entasis in classical Greek architecture.”

9. 最后一句形状错误

原文：是中国古代建筑形式砖塔的杰出代表。
... a perfect example of multi-eaved square brick pagodas...
问题：中文明确塔身为六边形（hexagonal），英文却写“square”，属明显错译。应改为hexagonal。
修改：... a perfect example of multi-eaved hexagonal brick pagodas built in ancient China.

建议性译文：

小雁塔
Small Wild Goose Pagoda

唐代。
Built in the Tang Dynasty.

始建于707年，初名荐福寺塔，明清时期称小雁塔。
It was originally constructed in AD 707 and was known as the Jianfu Temple Pagoda. Since the Ming and Qing dynasties, it has been widely called the Small Wild Goose Pagoda.

小雁塔为十五级密檐砖塔，因多次地震、塌陷毁坏，塔身出现裂缝，1965年国家按照原材料和施工工艺对塔身进行了整修，现高43.38米，由砖基、塔身和塔顶三部分组成。
The pagoda is a fifteen-storey brick structure with dense eaves. Due to repeated earthquakes, the top was damaged and the body part developed cracks. In 1965, the Chinese government renovated it using the same materials and techniques as those originally used. It now stands 43.38 meters high and consists of a brick base, a body, and a top.

塔基为方形平面，塔身为六边形，高3.2米，底边长23.38米，下有地宫。
The base is square and sits above an underground palace. The body is hexagonal, 3.2 meters in height, with a side length of 23.38 meters.

塔身呈中空，内壁有砖砌的宝塔道，外轮廓呈现出自然圆形的卷云曲线，每层叠涩出檐，二层以上南北均开有券窗。
It has a hollow interior with brick stairs built into the inner wall. The outer contours form a naturally elegant convex curve, reminiscent of the entasis in classical Greek architecture. Each storey has gradually-tiered dense eaves, and arched windows are set in the south and north walls from the second storey upward.

小雁塔整体保存完好，是中国古代建筑形式砖塔的杰出代表。
The pagoda is well preserved and is an outstanding example of a multi-eaved hexagonal brick pagoda from ancient China.

1961年，被国务院公布为全国第一批重点文物保护单位。
In 1961, it was designated by the State Council as one of the first batch of Major Historical and Cultural Sites Protected at the National Level.